So many apologies to you all for the lack of postings and no lecture write ups. Having a few family issues at the moment. Thought the following would explain it all.
As lots of you know my father is dying of cancer. His death will be a much more different thing than the death of my husband, Ayman, 6 years ago. When my husband died he did not bring closure, especially to my daughter. He said he did video tapes but he never did. My fathers death is much better. He has been told he has an aggressive tumor, inoperable and untreatable. When I spoke to the cancer nurse she told me it was ok to visit him after Xmas ‘but not too long’. Last week I went to the UK for one week and i visited every day and mostly we talked about trivialities although he gave me one peace of information which made me feel good. My mother who I always thought was repressed, boring and with no joy of life apparently was a bit of a goer. She had a torrid affair with a married man, I am so pleased. Dad took her away from this bloke. So my boring old fart of a mother was a goer. RESPECT
I managed to organise a trip to the ballet for him last Wed, it was a bit physically challenging for him to get the the seats, the best I could manage at short notice. But he loved it. I should explain he speaks Russian fluently and even taught it and this was a performance by the Russian state orchestra and ballet. It was about 20 mins drive and he was taken by a member of the Russian Society he set up. He loves music, plays violin and organ and also sang in choir and opera. So this was perfect for him
Although he had made lots of mistakes and did negative things in my life I did not even think about it. I thanked him for my life and bringing me up so I was cosmopolitan enough to marry Mahmoud and live in Egypt. I said everything you should do under these circumstances. I hope someone loves me enough to do the same.
I gave him memories, laughter, emotion and love in his last weeks. I am so glad
When I think about the difficulties with my daughter and everything I am going through I realise the importance of giving. Of giving even a delicious death. My fathers death will be delicious. He has done the things, seen the events and had the love. Can we ask more than a delicious death?
This entry was posted on Saturday, January 19th, 2008